Writing to know.

To those listening, I thought to confirm the reason i left no postings for more then a week now. It is not that i have nothing to say, but the little i is the reason itself.

This blog is full of language - common, in small simple words we all know well. Language is not so much a problem in itself. Its the message. The tower of Babel is not without irony to its name; we've built another to our pledged name as fellow Americans uniting under a common word we can swear upon, but soon we will be scattered and leaderless. God was named to be the one who ignited the flame which burned atop our heads and we became unfamiliar to each others tongue. Now again, i speak in simple terms clear - yet few are here to listen. I'm not trying to speak like some prophet here, but its just clear that Jesus was right when he said "many have come, but few are chosen" or "ye who have ears to hear, let him listen".

I speak here as a little man, with little to say, yet so much unsaid. We all have ears and mouths, but use them for subjective terms only to get things done. My ways are my own, and yours are your own. But that which comes from the mind cannot be clearly understood or explained in that subjective manner we are so costumed to. What happens inside me and inside you are two seemingly different things. Why cannot is be explained easily when they are the same? Because we are looking for a common answer. My understanding of love is quite different then yours because of our subjective way of grasping its behaviour. But we are the reinactment of love, so its impossible to understand it outside of you. If you try and understand it by acting out the behaviour of one who is claimed to be in love, you'll fool many but not yourself, for love has no flaw. It cannot be empty, for its essence is full. It cannot lack presence and cannot be taken without being given.

The idea here is that i am full of many things right now - many things i have written down i wanted to write on this blog, but which can be explained? All or none? I don't doubt that i can explain it as best i can and perhaps better and better each time, like a child learning to write, but who can understand what I'm feeling and seeing? Is it really the same when you are reading this now? Am i waisting my time blubbering about an amazing insight which is selfish in nature to be jabbering about? I want you to find your own way, but that I cannot help you on. Every path is different, because what obstacles you face are much different then my own, and i feel sad that we cannot hear on the same level.

Every step of this way has been resistance for me. Resistance to write, resistance to work, to eat, to sleep, to go to church, to read, to sit, to do, to whatever because i cannot fully understand what "grandness" this is supposed to be. I was shown so many times in life and believed it; that there is something around the corner that will save me. In the Gospel of Thomas - Jesus says "if those who lead you say to you, "See the Kingdom is in the sky," then the birds of the will precede you". I don't want to be looking for it anymore, for I know it is inside. I may be wrong in all doctrine, and all my interpretations of the gospel wrong, read the wrong stuff or say the wrong things, but one thing i can do for you is lead by provoking a trail of thought which will lead to your own way to the awareness of God. Don't follow me, for one who is blind will lead another into a hole and die. But i know as rhetorical and silly my writings seem, they are clever enough to me since i never know how they start or finish, and deliver a concept or perhaps a message that only the holy spirit could direct through the kafafull of it. The resistance i speak of is against all the wills the world could impose on me, so what criticism you have, let it be of yourself and let yourself understand why. The question is better then the answer. I guarantee the answer is stupider, 99.999999999999+ of the time.

Thank you for reading this. The point of this entire message was not mearly to write a void to all that is spoken, but rather initiate the answer that you've wanted to understand for so long, yet have been looking for. That small fractal percentage is real, and that part is you. It is inside of you - only you know the answer, and the point of trying to explain that is not only impossible, but inevitable its presence will be made known.

Losing it, gaining it.

Matthew 6:25
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

This has been hitting me a lot lately. There is a change happening in everyones life right now, and perhaps this is channeled to my own specifically, but I feel its also important you hear this out too.

Its more then just a personal thing - in fact, it isn't even a global event I speak of, but a universal event which we feel is coming. I once thought (and still think its true) that our language is simply an attempt to explain a synchronized shared event. We are experiencing a change in the earth which has given us a chance to change.

We are approaching a time of lose. Of all who endure this time of great lose, there are those will will endure gracefully surpassing the pain and transmuting it as efforts to resurrect the life lessons left by the passing of the physical. The only remaining is the ones who are left to suffer the pain of the lost and be lost with the material existence that passes.

There is the material thing which cannot be replaced in the same manner is existed before, but in that is the memory of which its true value is contained. A object stands for its value in the fruits of the beatitudes of good faith. The value of the object is useless in itself. This body for example is vain without the presence of a perceiver. In this case I am the perceiver and have given it life as a spirit. If I was no more then a demon, possessing and consuming all that is around me including the morality of what good nature people offer to me, I would not stand for anything and would be forgotten quickly. But those things I stood for which multiplied the goods fruits of the spirit is what gave birth to the flesh itself.

Another point I wanted to mention is that when the "obelisk" falls, it still remains as a memory of all it stood for. The two towers for example. What falls will remain fallen until what is remembered will be recreated temporally. It will not stay down. People will recreate it. The earth will recreate it, but it will not be lost if it has value. Even if it is lost for a great time, it will be dug up in time and placed back into the presence of people so it has the chance to be recreated in perfect form again.

Christ mentions in the verse above, another saying seemingly clothed in ambiguity, just as we are still trying to understand what clothing he wore. Does it even matter what colour, toga or sandal he wore? No! The point is he wasn't branded by GAP or American Eagle, and lets stop trying to brand his allegiance to a tribe, religion or biases of any kind. He spoke purely in physical terms to point to the holy spirit.

Now that I got that out, lets move on. :) I have no idea why I had to say that. Perhaps its supposed to relate to what I'm about to say. Which of that I he no idea…
BUT - when he speaks of losing life, he means the egoic identity which has its feet firmly placed in independence of that around him as an influence. When he moves onto say that those who lose theirs lives for his sake will find them. What did he stand for? I say, "what he stood for", because as I explained in the first few paragraphs, persons have no value other then what they stand for. So his sake, is not for his sake as a being, but as a living breathing spirit whom we can live with and as an unnamed cause. A part as the holy spirit. To lose your life would be to crucify the self and all that entails to the great sake; the great cause he left for us to follow. Not the lost lost traditions of Jehova, Yeshua or Emmanual - but all that he represented, for all those names he was named after reveiled his true character in the eyes of those who were open enough to see him as he was. The provider, the forgiven and forgiver, the prince of peace, God with us, JEZ - its US! We can be all of these things - not to take this merit, but share in all that he brought for us to be with! The riches of the spirit! Eternal wealth of the divine! This is why it is important to realize when the time comes that all is taken from us, we remember what it is to be alive in the spirit of all we know and hold dear, and become something greater then what a piece of rotting flesh could ever hope to be. Eternal.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:9

Turning it inside out

Yesterday, sitting alone in my zen like state - I was told to shift my focus inside... but then the questions came to me first before the answer. I wanted to know the answer to how that could be done. I thought of the complex task I was told to do. My mind had to break down the bits of data to explain this "inner experience" I was supposed to have, but then I couldn't know for sure until I knew I had to experience it.

The common influence many spiritual practices has is to do just this. The exercise of taking the external experience away, and look at the internal answers, almost as if the external experience is the effect and the internal experience is the cause. Things get kafufuled as its seems when we look to the external experience for cause, when it is only a mass effect of a shared state of cosmic "excretions" of consciousness.

During my younger years, even up to maybe 12 or 13 years of age, I had an anxiety of sleeping. Sounds silly, but the lesson is very valuable in many cases. Since I was around seven, I had suddenly lay in my bed one night and realized that I had to fall asleep. Every night before this in my life, sleep came so naturally that I hadn't a chance to realize this change of state. I lay there - with the light on above me, waiting and anticipating the sleep to come over me, but the more I became aware of this apparent lack, the more i was awake. I resorted for many nights to my parents bed to simply have the solace I guess to be comforted in my fear of these long nights without sleep until sure enough it would come; every night.

The cure came to me readily when I accepted the fate of the event - with all the disturbing noises having slept in a cabin full of boys, moving, snoring, etc. I accepted that if I could not sleep, I simply will just lie there perfectly content until morning broke. I fell slept perfectly thereafter.

The reason to this analogy is to explain that sleep, and "turning your attention inside" are of the same function. The phenomenon of consciousness (thinking) without the body is a mystery any scientist will never be able to prove since we have millions of accounts known by mouth of NDE like experiences.
so I suppose I'm jumping the gun to say this, but it only makes sense to assume that consciousness survives death. I don't wanna explain this okay? Assuming your a believer of spirit; sleep is a unexplainable timeless oriented state where the higher levels of spirit journey. The body will function the same since the lower levels will remain to keep it breathing and charging in peace.

Now to the idea of turning your attention inside. Its a hard statement to grasp for a similarly impossible task. Sleep is not something you can control with aggressive intent, for it has its natural ways programmed into your cycles. So is consciousness. Telling your attention to be fixed onto itself is like a dog chasing its tail. Try and catch a thought. Tough since it cannot see itself without a mirror. Our mirror is the soul which has the memory of that thought. So catching a thought is impossible unless it has potency to affect other levels of mind to body, of which is can be recalled in time.

Fixing your attention inside is clearly a figure of speech to be aware of the internal instead of external. But once you look "inside" wherever that might be - it becomes a reflection of the outside. I dunno if I'm sure weird that way, but concentrating on internal dialogue always flings me out to external pressures. That is the task for zen tradition - letting things be, externally and internally and observing the changes which are influenced by Mind itself. Capital M for the one mind all minds are shared.

This blog has created so many more questions then it has solved for me. I'll wrap up the big one. The inner self or experience is something you are already participating in. Always and evermore in prayer for every word is called and answered, whether listening or not. The answer is the question we've created. The external experience; the effect which we claim is our cause. Its the answer we we're looking for - but now every cause leads to another cause since we never see the effect. The cause was always inside - which is why its so hard to see inside the answer. The answer is at the beginning, where all things came from - consciousness. We want to understand the cause so we've created this effect - the world around us - changing as we change. A reflection - a mirror of us.

The answers are always in you, which is to me a very encouraging thought because then, you could never be lost. Its also impossible to lose anything. Including sleep.

Peace and quite in a world of chaos

Sometimes i sit and wondering what is the value of such dwindling in moments like these. I find a place of peace and quite, and soon discover there is a longing to participate again, although in a completely new way. Repetition of what I hate is something i cannot stand. As much as i have, this is what has given rise to much stress in my life. If one had the confidence and answers to fill the gaps, life would be much easier. The one who has the power to control his life is the one who holds the baton it seems in our world. This is why politics is such a hit - I say this humorously. Nothing against politics, but politics done without a desire of power is something we have not known.

To explain this wave in a analogy, lets say that at my copy job at staples, i refused an order for a moral reason. Maybe the customer was being a douche and i decided to discipline his efforts to control me. Then instead of leaving him a reason to blow up, you have to replace the need with an equal valued substitute. I could give him a copy card and tell him to figure it out on the self serve copiers. Not to be an ass, but its a choice of discipline since he feels he doesn't need me enough to consider me human, with emotions and value.

The choice to say no is the value so the equation can be balanced (takes 2 to tango). Balance the equation and be a part of the equation. By letting another use you, there is a problem. Just like when in this moment of peace and quiet, i passed a reason to participate in actively giving to a greater whole, but the question is how. The answer is somewhere out there, and throwing out a temporary substitute like browsing the web just won't do sometimes. Find that calling, and the cause to participate will come again.

All I have to do is dream ...

Dream dream dream.

I need to grab a cup of tea, and advise you to do too. If you plan on reading any of my notes, they should be done with ease of mind as my writings, like my simple mind, need no complex adjectives or vocabulary to communicate such things. Mainly because I stick within the knowns of the mind - things we all know so well but have forgotten. That is knowledge - you know, but have not yet remembered.

I have, placed on my biggest wall, a large group of seven print. I can't recall who of them, but what he shared was a piece of his life which is a piece of me. It is the moody seascape of Northern Ontario - the wind from the stretch of shimmering lakes blowing over an independent white pine, battered on the shore its foe. I have maps of the world on other walls; William Waterhouse's beautiful women portraits, and organic matter collages to frame the others. Of the many I have, there is always more to add, from lust rich in colour landscapes of vibrant hues, to the hopes of hanging a yacht harboured on a calm evenings sun.

These are my painting - reproductions at that. I am an artist, and for that I've spent much my time inquiring as to the understanding of the 21st century of art, and my own philosophy to what true art should be; where it has failed and succeeded and why it is hard to describe its meaning, purpose or anything for that matter with art. More then most complex inquisitions to its becomings, it simply is what it is. Traditional fine art will always ring the note tuned well, for its the most dated and known true "photograph" per say without the technology other then a tuned eye. I see, and therefore it is.

I heard it said that if we were to travel to another planet and speak to an extraterrestrial race, and describe our world to them - they would most likely respond that we have described the world, but we have also described a part of us. Gaia is our "spaceship" if you will that we've inhabited. Its what we known from a tangible learned first person perspective, and we are one with it. Its like when we walk on the Earth, the Earth beneath our feet moves under us.

My walls share something another has shared with me - an emotive landscape conveyed. It is so real, for it is still there, in memory and also in mind, and now in reminder of physical form. I've toyed with the stupidity of producing art on a plat 2D base board, but the artist willingly bound himself to those constrains of the medium to overcome the obstacle necessary to bring it closer to mind and reality (an admirable feat!) When you stare into this void for a short time and let yourself go of the limitations as did the artist, you are free to be one with it - ask yourself the question answered. You know something about this place you can specifically relate to, which makes it yours - at least this piece of it in the frame.

I point this analogy out for the reason I wrote the whole blog and had you possibly sip tea for a short time. I have just told you a story of my life which you now share, although you know nothing about it. Unless you share it with me you cannot, but until I do, you cannot come with me. I have a dream - a vision - a painting in my head. It will only become manifest until I apply those effort necessary and attract other minds to join and share efforts to make such a thing. Whatever this thing is, is irrelevant for now because I am not ready to share it, but the anticipation is just as great in your mind for your own kind.

On every wall, nook, nook corner and cranny is a painting, a part or a reflection of YOURSELF. If you couldn't see this already, I hope now you remember. If it doesn't serve the image you want to see in yourself, throw it away. Its like dust in a potentially clean home. You own yourself so why not. The surroundings you exist in right now all reflect you, whether you like it or not in mind and in body. You surround yourself with things which serve the aspirations or current view of what you see in yourself. Purchasing a painting is like affirming a positive in your life. Expect to see things happen, for your will is part of the puzzle to moving mountains. It is stronger then any force the world has known.

What do you dream about? What do you see with your imagination? Where does your mind venture when it is left to wander? Where it is now? Its hard to capture such a thing in a moment like this, but look at those patterns over time. Bring notice to your thoughts, your dreams, epiphanies - everything which has your attention. Are not all these things real? If your description of real is the senses, indeed our world is very shallow, but when we look deep into these "blueprints" of the mind, are these things not as real as the world around us? There is not much to prove how tangible this world is around us just because this sensual body is claimed to be real. They are all interpretations of sense organs - which is a faculty of perception just as everything else you can conceive is. So what is the difference? The time factor, and time is a function of the mind as well we know.

We are just wisps floating along this journey together, and manifestation is our adjourned task. We've forgotten how it even happens. I wish we could all know this - that we are all already actively manifesting these things we place attention to whether or not we know. There are all due forces known and unknown at our fingertips that if were applied properly, need no tool other then the mind to rapidly accelerate their journey into the known world we taste touch and see.

We are all jacks of our own trade, and I hope my analogy of the visual world made this a little clearer how everything is very very real. I'm suggesting it would help if we treated all things in mind and body alike to prove their impact on our lives instead of denying their presence. Thoughts are the only real thing we have. Consciousness is something destiny cannot take.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
-Helen Hadley

"I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream"
-The Everly Brothers

Ready, set ....

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/1874942

A new age is finally dawning. Glad I'm here for it so far. Hope I don't get run over while biking without a helmet tomorrow.

Me qwotes

I hold myself down because the world tells me to.

The world sucks. Otherwise we would all fly off.

I blame science. Otherwise i wouldn't know this world.

I'm cleaning everything, and after that - i don't know whats left.

I believe and i don't know why.

I finally know who I am. Again.

Create a river - but it will not flow without life.

A trade

This time - I'm not typing on the PC. I'm just feeling around the keyboard right now for the first time. What a quick change. Sometimes i'm think I'm crazy for doing this, but the benefit for it was almost effortless, and that is why any trade for that matter should be so. Every attachment must be left as a spirit is to its body in death, and everything must change. I'm imagine falling into the bermuda triangle and supposably appearing in a parallel reality would be alike.

Let me explain. Two weeks ago, an offer was made for a new computer from my great friend Austin so I could be supported with a computer that could keep up with my large working files. This was a Dell Inspiron 1545. I had the Macbook model two generations prior to the current one i hold. Excellent little thing. I instantly took to the idea of selling the old model to Becky - my sis-in-law who took to the benefit of a stable lappy mac. I cleaned all the data off - and put it onto my external which was then transfered onto my PC. My friend Jon from Kingston came from Kingston and took to the likeness of the Dell, and offered a trade. I laughed initially as Mary would have when presented the idea of bringing a saviour into the world. Then, realizing Jon was serious, I weighed out the changes. Jon would get a tablet and pc - great for his minor eye changes as he needs glasses now. I think the screen was 15 or 16 inches. This would support his graphic needs for creative direction with the sensitive tablet. I also would be sufficiently supported with a great mac 1 generation newer then the prior. And the change would be over switching to a PC. Jon works on a PC all day so he knows the changes. The Mac would provide a steady OS familiar and well sufficient for my graphic work - which was the original intention of switching to a new computer. Amazing.

It was only the second week of having the new computer - not enough time to weed my files into it. If timing was not more perfect... and I'm loving it. Trades should always be this easy - everyone benefits. The only way they don't is when the flow of love stops, or is rejected for fear of deceit.

A trade

Grade 4 Mentality.

I had a strange dream last night which has really disturbed me this morning. I dreampt I was in my old public school (as scary as that was) but was quite comfortable in my skin to be there. To make it short - I was in grade 12 but was skipping classes that day (as most days) to visit what it was like to be in grade 4 again. The teacher refused me to sit in, so I left. I was not meant to be there and didn't want to be there all day. The rest of my time was spent wandering the halls.

I fear if this were true in any way. My merit for studies have dropped to a low. I always have these dreams of missing classes in highschool and not knowing where to go. Not knowing which class i am supposed to be in. Just wandering empty halls after everyone else has started. Its the most irratating and common dream i have.

I remember another important dream right now so I must write it before i forget.

Solice in Sovereignty

Working today, I was at my peak when I had made a binding mistake on a book to be bound. I looked at the top page that I had destroyed and read this. I later photocopied a page for myself when duplicating the pages i had messed up.

Never yield to doubt or fear.
Jehovah will provide escape,
Our God ever will be near.

All those enduring to the end
Are those who will be saved.
The book of life will list their names,
A record clearly engraved.
So let endurance be your aim;
Let it have its work complete.
Jahovah`s favor you will know;
With joy you will be replete.

Of what I am.

Restless tonight. I sit here.. in my yellow sofa chair - laptop, cushy lifestyle. Little strings attached because i refuse to be toyed. A little alone as a result. The cave of silent existence; peace and toil. I sometimes catch a glimpse of the other side of me - the peaceful side. My room was built for this, but with all in all, there is something left to be acheived. Something to be attained. To be wanted, thinking completion is forward and my key to ecstasy will be seen. What a dry feeling this is.

My reason though for pouring out my lack of contents is not mearly to sap up yours as a reader, but rather to remind you of these moments for the key is simple. There is no other. The only way we will pull ourselves together is not by creating more extentions of ourselves, but to remember that reality is the only extension of our being. Remember being only mind? Go deep into a relaxed state of emptiness and find that wisdom - that wisdom of simply being.

I need not what tomorrow brings for all I know is now. It is all that I am. Who I decided to be know is who I am. There is no way to become it, for it is a swtich in consciousness which gives birth to expansiveness. There is no other. There is only one of you. Pull yourself together.

In this oneness you are at the center of your being. It is the pilot seat of your soul. You are the captain of your vessel, and only here can you chose where life is going. Often our ship is left unmanned as we toil over the tidy details of our ship, but is has no need for decorative purposes. This ship was built for only one function - to sail - and it will sail until it sinks if it should.

Its strange how in this pure state of being - all the answers are there. I've come to realize that all reality is, is a new depth of creation, and with it is a dulled weakened form of depth which is almost impossible to communicate fluently with. No - it is impossible to communicate with. All of these vague ideas we share are but ghosts of their true content. Everything has to be felt through experience, and experience cannot come close to communicate through words. We simply share assocaited experiences by our own personal understanding of the concept. In this way - being is our only teacher, for only from it can we experience true knowledge, wisdom and understanding.

We need no book for this, because we simply are. Simply forgotten. Simply forgotten the identity without the shell. Our focus is on this shell to live out these concepts and make them real in some tangible way - to create, which is why I think all art has failed to acheive its aim, and never will hit its target. Same with science. Its born of its own measurement, and cannot bridge the gap to the mind - for the experiece - the revelation - the miracle is you. It is you.

The key is being in the now. There is no other. You are that I am.

A little bit of this - a little bit of that

I guess it comes with the season. Our hype for what is good and "holy" for our whole lives has become a foreign thing when the seasons change. Spring cleaning of the clutter accumulated from a season of winters chill slowly setting in from a dark falls welcome. I say welcome for for every season should be welcomed alike. Its all we know - the waxing and wanning of every polarity. Change is our life - how we identify and measure things. Everyday turnes to the next; the 12 hour cycles down to the second and what divisons lie below. I beg to offer this perspective; that life was meant to change. There is often resistence of what is natually veining through our intimate lives, mating with our physical identities and merging with others in hopes to make two flesh one. This was meant to be, yet change must take place for there to be resecution of the two into one. This reminds me well of a verse in the gospel of Thomas of which I'll recite.

They said to him, "Shall we then, as children, enter the Kingdom?"
Jesus said to them, "When you make the inside like the outside, and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the female female; and when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in the place of a hand, and a foot in the place of a foot, and a likeness in the place of likeness, then you will enter the Kingdom."

The seasons pass as they will, but when we harmonize with their movement and ways, the more we merge with their nature. I speak of the nature of all things. Not nature, but the all. Follow me? :) The resistence of the changes creates the stresses we bear. When the two become of one, then you will enter the Kingdom of heaven - which would mean to be of one mind, body and soul.

Words are just coming to me right now so I'll just type. "Let it be" John Lennon sang, and I say now "let it fall". Letting go of what seems so desperately to escape us, should be released. It shows that it either has nothing left to give, and that we and it no longer serves purpose. So why hold onto it? Let it fall away, and it will go where it will be "recycled". I like to think of our concept of gravity as being reversed in a spiritual sense. What is down is really up. You let it fall and it is sacrificed to God's natually. When we let go of everything, including the body or the ego; they too are replaced in a cosmic sense.

All things go up and down - which way you see them fluxing matters not. The way we merge with the cycles is most important though so our harmonization will keep us grounded with the movments or our patterns will turn irregular and sparatically waisted off the path of these patterns emerging in the universe.

Let there be a time for all things, and let it pass as easily as it comes -- and as the oracle from the Matrix says "and before you know it, you'll feel as right as rain".

Staying young tips

A compilation of short tips I've come to recognize. Take it with a sense of humor. I'm always adding to it.

If you have a beard, stroke it. It slows down time.

Eat more - feel better about your gluttony.

Sing like a bird, even if your not the prettiest tweet in the trees. Otherwise the forest would be very silent.

Remember who you are.

Stay positive.

Forgive yourself and others.

Forget not what it was like to be at the beginning; then there will be no end.

Stop doing what you hate.

Stop trying to look young.

Eat oatmeal every morning. Perfect the concoction every morning to suit you.

Apple a day keeps the doctor away - maybe keeps you young at the same time.

Forget about time as much as possible.

Meditate.

Let your mind wander as far and as long as possible away from the ego.

Confront death and rid all fear of it.

Remember who you are inside - it will see you through.

Resistance of any kind will cause recession.

Follow your heart till the ends of the earth - there you will peace.

Make your home in the hearts of others.

Never fear anything.

Know thyself.

Ode to Freedom

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Simply a word. Say it again and hear out the syllables and sound them out. Just a word. What is it? My thoughts about its definition : its a release of slavery. Slavery is not something the nazi's did to old europe, or what happened to the Israelites under the rule of egypt. Slavery is something you are willing to be a slave to. What you do attests to what you believe. What another one forces onto your own nature does not make you willing, but does not make you the master anymore of your body, which is then their responsibility. But what I mean by slavery is the kind of slavery you give yourself to. This "habit" or whatever it is is eventually realized to be unbalancing something in yourself, but its hard to target the source of your blindness when it has taken your eyes. The unbalance is intoxicating, and leaves a sense of feeling lost and unaware. Leaves room for the excuse of ignorance so the problem persists as long as it can.

Freedom means nothing without something to be free of. What does freedom mean to you? Freedom of pain? Freedom of your boyfriend? A feeling? A thing? An emotion? A obligation? A concept?

At the heart of all these ideas is its roots in fear. We have a lot of fear about everything we can imagine. Where it is not? Fear is to be cast out of alignment of your space. Fear is fixed in the identity. Its to usurp anothers strength by means to help them, which is entirely not possible. For you cannot enslave another without them giving their will.

Fear is left to the embrace of the perceiver. If the subject was understood completely, it would not surpass them and therefore would be nothing to fear. It would trouble them, but then they would come to own the subject itself and banish the fear which kept them from crossing the street in the first place.

This is why I left some of my earlier roots, but if i hadn't, I would have been lost in my insecurities in the world around me which all at the same time seemed to oppose me, which is entirely untrue.

To close, I must mention this verse from the gospel of thomas - one of my favorite books.

(2) Jesus said, "Let him who seeks continue to seek until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will come to rule over the all."

'I'll pay for this later' symptom

Certainly should sound familiar. I know I'm terribly guilty of it as we all are. Certainly the implications of the statement go as far as all financial distress, but my anthology hopefully will stretch the use of this term. Particularly because I hadn't the word the describe this malicious frenzy which has us plagued with longevity to a sudden death it seems.

To explain what I mean; there was once and old man who huddled every morning under his cardboard shelter, away from the crowds in a shadow shrouded corner. His life used to be once a simple kind - pay as you go plan, one step at a time seemed effortless and and unaccounted for. Like all of us born into a world pregnant with possibilty, he now finds himself now lost and confused with his dire predicament, unable to muster the confidence and willingness to pay for what he had owed to life, even if he had it. His body now cold and fragile, his energy is waisted on a fortune now spent to the world he owes with none of it owed back to his of what he owed. A confusing predicament in itself, for where did he benefit from it?

Who has the money we owe? Is there some limit to the flow of whatever it is we're exchanging? How is it we're struggling to find ground on a endless field of possibilities, in a field as wide as this earth? How many plagued beliefs do we have that hold false have kept us stuck? These are all the questions we could easily conjure up from the anxieties pressed on our minds.

Because what our senses tell us seem to have a limit to tolerance, we assume that the juice has all been sapped from the tree. I have news that the seasons will change, and are readily available for harvest when one is able to reap the realization of a field not yet threshed. The world we live in is not a world of limit. There is a limit to what we see (proven my the analogy of an iceberg) but a world no yet seen that we cannot yet harvest. Sometimes we just need to realize the season for one harvest is over and it is time to start over again. You cannot harvest the same field annually - its needs its break, or "sabbatical" in jewish terms. We too need to start a new harvest when one is finished.

All changes in time. One segment leads to another, and at the end of each is like changing lives - living another ones job and responsibilities. This is important to realize so that resistance is minimal when the tides change. Just retreat to higher ground. There is always an abundance - its important to realize there is no limit to all space, and time.

Life is a burden because we created this suffering out of our desperation to cling to the moments and things we hold to with our identity. If we hadn't these attachments, life would pass as easy as it came. Remember the feeling of having a butt-load of homework to do after the end of the day? Our focus is temporarily suspended on paradise while obligation still holds on the other side of reality. This is really the concept in a nutshell; to be there in body, but mind placed ahead of its evolution, so there is a disconnect between you and it. There is a contradiction that grows greater over time. Decay sets in on the things left undone and untended for as the body withers and passes away, and we inherit a new body out of necessity as the old dies. This is where our "drug-like" addictions to our earthly habits keep us suspended from reality as repetition sets a constant standard of escape. The only way to cancel out anything is meet it head on with no assists and process what shift in consciousness needs to be done so the pain will subside and illness will not set in.

Life has placed upon us a wager. Karma translated is actually "action". We cannot run from ourselves. What we do to another is what we receive in return. Our duty is cleanup. Realizing that we share these grounds will only accelerate our progression as a human race, for what we clean up for anothers sake places us in the act of atonement - the one duty we were given. Love, wisdom and unity.

The old man I once spoke about - the story hadn't ended. The story will end though when someone will come to help him realize his potential as a part in this unity about to take place. When he realizes this hope from his alienated self, he will come to not fear himself or the world around him for he will know it all. He will continue where he left off; at the beginning.

"Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward."
  --  Søren Aaby Kierkegaard

Finding it new

A new earth began
A new earth was born
A new new earth is
A new earth always was
Never a time was this
Time was forever present
A old soul longing
The flesh forgotten
A new life awakening
A new life was born

Will you be ready?

Will you be ready?

Time is like a living fabric that repairs the tears that are made - it repairs the rips that are made as much as it can.

--- David Wilcock

I realize now that our time is shorter then ever - the turning point is close. All that has been written about the changes that are to take place, will you be the one who buckles under the pressure? Have you given it all? Are you Hot or warm? This is where it all matters - its like the end of a big game, the grades are finally up and exams are now, and we are on the grill. Will you be ready?

Time is up.

Change me if you can

Rarely will I post a note on my blog - come to to think of it, this is the first. If you are willing to invest two hours of your time, this is my suggestion for the few who might be interested in my blog.

David Wilcock is onto a cusp of something truly inspirationally divine. What he says seems to resonate with me. The first video that I watched long ago - the "2012 Enigma" video was the appetizer, but the new one "project camelot" just has my eyes peeled and body tingling. I only watched the first 50 mins. :) Thats how much I want to share it with you.

http://divinecosmos.com/index.php/videos/44-2012-return-to-camelot/503-amazing-free-2-hour-video-2012-return-to-camelot

Horoscope

I just found this really funny; the synchronicity of my current feelings in direct alignment with the stars. Its a short horoscope which was emailed by a respected site. It relates perfectly to what I was writing last night - the note below this. You can take a look at your own reading from the site.

http://www.liveperson.com/lp/horoscopes/weekly/?banid=109583&cid=109583&utm_source=horoscopes&utm_medium=email&utm_term=clients&utm_content=spirit&utm_campaign=EM20091026H1#sagittarius

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
At the best of time you have itchy feet. Wanting to get things done. Longing to travel and expand your horizons and thoughts. At the moment Mars is in Leo transiting through your 9th house which may bring all of these ideas out in you. Be careful how speedily you hurry into an idea though as you need to think it through carefully. There's some lovely times coming up with friends and maybe a special someone from your past. Accept any social invitations that come your way this week as they may be more fateful than you think.

Running away

I can't help but keep thinking this. This is not it. When you know you were born healthy and capable of everything and more, but your mind is battered by the elements of the world to shade your sanity.

I still hope that there is a way yet to escape this zoo.. feeling everyday as if watched by a multitude of angels waiting for a movement and all of hells angels and hounds haunting me with lies. The truth is more then this. I won't wait till i die before i know this, and that is why i must find it now before it is late and paradise is lost to eternity. Fetch me my shovel, and they will assume I'm digging my grave - and truthfully I am as i know death of the self leads to life on the other side.

I suppose thats the goat like nature in me, nipping at what few blades of green grass and wondering whether it be time to move on. Damn that troll - at least now my head feels stronger having grown nearly full set on my head. The fear of defeat has only held me back. But one day, I'll cross that bridge and will claim my inheritance, as the world, nor any its gateways are owned by man nor beast. But when will i muster up what little confidence is required? What its true what the troll has told me? I could very well die trying to live freely as well as my kin who may follow.

This desire is killing me, but my anger is rightly placed if it were deception. What could I lose if i left this place. Its barren and could only be enjoyed by those who hadn't been curious to see. If I hadn't looked, this would have been a lot easier - but its not quantity i look for, but the riches of the spirit. I want to feel it all - to be like God. Will running away make me so? No - but one step closer to the truth I've forgotten all along. That is that the truth is not owned by one man or another. They will say - its here - or there, but I know that it is inside, and that is what this flight is all about. Getting away from all that has kept me down from realizing that piece of God in me.

Intuition - summed up.

First level - Personal consciousness.

Second level - Stringing ceaseless event(s) of consciousness.

Third level - Prioritizing stringed event(s) in elevating complex events of choice.

Forth level - Foresee event(s) from insight of a shared state of consciousness.

Fifth Level - Foresee stringed event(s) from shared state of consciousness.

Sixth level - Grouped event(s) of shared consciousness placed in immediate consciousness.

Seventh level - Universal consciousness in immediate consciousness.

Eight level - Universal events stringed to immediate consciousness.

Ninth Level - Grouped universal events stringed into immediate consciousness.

Tenth level - Unknown tool of consciousness.

You'll notice it comes down in threes. The first 3 are personal. Then the branch between where personal is no longer personal as events in the mind are shared. The global awareness then reaches out to a universal consciousness. These references are hardly appropriate to say "me - then you - then everything else out there" but its to demonstrate the interpersonal dimensions intuition reaches to.

It all comes down to consciousness - awareness. When we are ready - the matter is revealed to us. As Jesus says in the Gospel of Thomas - when we know, we will be troubled. Would you really want to know all of these things? There are few who I think go beyond the forth dimension, which is the first stage of "flashes" of intuition. It is more or less gifted I would say, but then again it is gifted to all of us the same from a more global spirited mind.

How to stay young - a young mans opinion

Before i start this note, I know there is a query in my heart whether it be worth even to write such thoughts. It could easily turning into a book if I structured this well enough - but this is for thoughtful introspection. To stay young... there are many little pithy terms to plunk away at; few people be desperate would be willing to ponder, for the real question is how long would you want to live?

The question is as old as time, and I wonder how honest one could be about it. Hitting the reset button is easy, but to live long is not. When that old mac of your for example gets rather yellow in color - not from a smoke but the harsh elements battering its skin - and even inside its parts don't seem as new when everything seems to speed up around it. The new generations are more witty and sharp with a sense of irony, as we once thought the same - as if we'd always be this color. Our turn always comes, but how to slow it so we can enjoy the process of aging, may even delay the process to the point where we remember time stops, and moment becomes a memory never forgotten, even if time forgot you.

We've all heard of the old rich man who earned his lot, but spent all his loot to regain his health and learned and earned nothing about life or satisfaction. His peace was spent on identity, and leaving all that makes its so much more terrible at the turning point, when all things change. I have been thinking this a lot myself; and the turning point is when change is necessary. We may not foresee the change, but when it comes, we could be ready for it. There is much said in the bible to reference our journey to be like a man who has his home a tent, and when the time come to pack up and move, he had nothing to keep him from doing so. In fact the early Isrealites were like this as the "pillar of fire by night and cloud by day" moved ahead of them. When it moved - they moved.

Anyway - this turning point or "the tipping point" (if your read the book) is unknown most often of what and when, how and everything else. Its just part of causality. As much as it is possible to mark the probability of changes to occur, we cannot be ready for all of them - mainly the biggest ones. Namely death.

There is no key to do's to this note. No "live in the moment" or "live in a tent" or whatever, because we all know the diversity of life is to be welcome. The point is to let you ponder what questions lie ahead in a changing world? What can this world not take from you? As the bible says; "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also," so where does your treasure lie? Or will it even be worth digging up? Will someone find it? Will it contain anything? Or will be it full of memories?

continued ...

Can't help but feel you

Keep me close; push me away - how do i know you love me death? Giver and taker of life, the suns warmth and winter moons chill, the swoon of a sweet gust moving me closer to the edge. The pain is knowing how close you are, but not knowing you; measuring the distance day by day. You are who decides how the winds sway. I hope the fall is as soft as the whispers you sung to me all these years . They call you cruel, but i know you do what you must. There is reason for what you do. When the day comes, I hope you will save me from myself and the pain. Keep these eyes shut as you take the last breath - blowing a kiss in the wind, hoping it will reach you.

Intuition

There seems to be pattern here in intuition. This is my short-long winded attempt to just blurt it out unaware of what is streaming. Intuition consists of different levels. To keep it simple, I'm going to stick to visual epiphanies. The ability to prophetically predict the future through means of spiritual sight.

First level. We can say right now - I'm going to do this. I am going stand up out of this chair - which is easily executed from your own faithful willingness to produce the achievable results you've performed before. Now there is a chance that you may fail - such as die from a sudden hard attack in the half way point, or just trip, which would just be plain funny to add some humor to the note. Ha hah --- I'm just laughing here thinking about it.

Second level. Now settling your mind a bit, you can achieve a plan of attainable detail - such as go out to collect groceries, get to work on time, then pay the bill, etc. This is still under your conscious control - but to think you can string a series of events which you've achieved before makes it a length of tasks--- which could seemingly go on for eternity if we put it to the extreme. So that ends that possibility.

Third level - to be able to bend events in that complex day to fit the puzzle. Say you can't get groceries before work without seeing outside of the timeframe you built and reorganizing it to fit behind work - thus making you able to get to work on time!

Brilliant we say! But what the hell does that have to do with intuition??? Hold ye horses young one.

Forth level - to see outside of the events to see flashes of possibilities that could affect events. This is a piece and part of how it starts to show itself, for unconsciously we start of align things without reason necessarily to give exceptional time to events that may take just as long. You give yourself the extra time instead of getting groceries to get to work - and on the way the work, they started construction on Highland Rd. or whatever. Coincidence? Cut me some slack - this is theoretical and it gives us plenty of time to focus. Long winded note.

Fifth Level - I start to get biased and say it requires a steady mind to see into the fifth level of intuition. The fifth level is where we can instinctually gain "flashes" events which have absolutely no relation to your current view. You don't necessarily have to see it, but this is rather an impulsive knowing which is simply there. No one can tell you otherwise it could not be. This can or may not be true I should say. Not all things we see in our mind are true. Once we've caught this knack or predicting things once - its tastey and addictive like chocolate. Then we want to use it at will. Eh .. nah. Doesn't work that way. The conscious mind will blurt out something dumb like - "I'm going to get up" and trips over its own feet into a puddle of mud - which makes it so much more enjoyable, doesn't it? Laugh at yourself will ya? Anyway ---- back to the topic. This "coincidental" intuition is often convoluted for its our first taste and we mingle it into a little bit of time-space instead of space-time and the equation is muddle-blooded.

One more paragraph to explain this. Flash of intuition about boyfriends car in driveway - when you say mild mannerly as a smart ass teenage girl "may boyfriend will be here soon". So you get on your little fluffy snow-boots and sit there at the front door, and you chat for a good hour and a half with your friend while sitting impatiently on the vestibule while wanting to prove yourself right... you eventually were, but you got to be wrong about the time since you mixed that into your presumption about the event.

One more other paragraph to explain this. Flash of intuition says "construction man" or "take your time little cushy government job man on crossing the street" -- i dunno, something pertaining to a warning or the future without time. You could not possibly see that event. The construction on Highland hadn't even started on Highland when you woke up. This is outside of time. This is your mind without limits. Life without time - for time does not exist except in your conscious mind. Anywho - now if we mixed that with your excuse to rush to get groceries, you may say --- I'm just not going to because i feel I'm going to be late. Theres and example - the prediction is mingled because clearly the observation was made about a construction man - and it was mixed with your flabbergasted day was either looked after and avoided or had made you late. You see - you have the choice to create the future from the fifth level of intuition... which can make you right or wrong about the event, because often the event is not fixed. Your lateness was another "given" of your mild mannered conscious intuition, but you changed the course of event by seeing the other to avoid it. Trippy eh? Its a combo of the forth - but duplicated flashes of intuition makes it a string, giving it its fifth dimensional qualities.

Sixth level - Events leading to a set pattern in future which has little to do with our intervention. Truth is it is --- but we shift the blame. Even events catastrophic in nature are of our own influence as we know. It involves a much greater group of circumstances, and people for that matter - for people create the circumstances - otherwise the world would continue as it has for ages. Combined groups of vested minds, can lead to the reversal of the event - such as the shifting of construction to moved to another day, as that it is control of the hands of the people.

In other larger cases, studies had shown that group meditations in California reduces the certain chances of a part of it sinking into the sea. I'm sure you've heard of this - but to think that something do catastrophic can be reversed simply by mind? Surely if there was a prophet who predicted this - it not set in certain. Nothing is certain.

Now that we understand a limited extend the magnitude of the sixth level - we are now the under control of events. This leads us to a level or intuition which reaches to a global scale of people across the globe - with noooooo possible knowledge of the outcome of events in the future. I know we know by scientific nature what could happen - but the beauty of science is that it is not an exact science. We use failure to measure success. BUT -- the point is this is outside of our plethora of knowledge database - internet or not. So. Its intuition - got it??

The circumstances are numerous and most often effect many people as a result - perhaps we could call that karma. So seeing the result is the intuition.

Eight level - Multiple "catastrophic" or global events which concurrently affect the end result - of which the observer is seeing. I believe this is huge. Its like the grocery list and everything else in the day mashed up. The multiple events contributing.

Ninth Level - Another bend in all the events changed. This is simply another time fixed event just like the rest of them, so it can of course be changed, but as always has it quarks to puzzle out as events fall into place.

What is after this - the tenth dimension is a new tool of measurement we cannot undersand. It is ... another beginning to bring it short.


Seeing the pieces yet? The intuition is seeing outside of time - but intuition at any level is always the same - its the ego which makes it time oriented and codified to be understandable to our orientation. Things are passing through our heads all the time. Why does it feel like its in a different language? Because it literally is. Think of seeing the Eiffel tower and trying to explain it. Nostradamus referred to the airplanes crashing into the towers as metal birds. Being able to focus on the event needed to grab information about is what we refer to as remote viewing. What we see as intuition is simply catching a thought whisping through the thousands streaming which most has seemingly no relevance to your life - and finally realizing it.

You want to see intuition act for you? Don't try - just watch and it will come. As Zen masters would teach and say "don't try - just sit" for meditation practice. Even the task of sitting can be overcomplicated - but at least it keeps the mind steady and focused. Being psychic is a tuned ability to grasp information skillfully relevant to the matter. Often they will have gifted guides which intercede eternally for others enlightenment, for it is theirs too. That is why psychic is a powerful combination with remote viewing - and why remote viewing teams will often look for skilled psychics.

One last note for now as I realize my not caught a small fraction of my readers attention thus far; I believe this all to be very true and powerful information as it gives the power to unlock the very gates of our true sight.

Sight is a function of our eyes? Yes? Well yes and no. It is a function of your body - which only reflect your spiritual eyes. How did you see that flash of intution? We have all had shots of intuition - as intoxicating they are might I say. Gives you the chills some say, because it only makes sense! We are spiritual beings living out a bodily experience. Your minds eye is what seen that intuition. Remove the pieces of this earthly puzzle you do not need. As you do - time gets shorter, for the very pieces you remove give insight into the great connected God mind, which has no time. Soon as all of those little puzzle pieces of your life are removed, at the center you fall back into timelessness, as some would call space-time (termed my Einstein).

Until we have the need for time, time will exist. Until we rid the ego, this will never be so. Every mind will be free one day.

Why

Do you know why you are here? It is because you've felt something your entire life you cannot explain. Its everywhere - in you and outside of you. And it driving you closer to an end of a beginning, as all things the same pass this way. But with a purpose we have given it, we produce the means of living on... spawning again ourselves to birth new new evolved self. There is nothing to be lost. We are forever the same - alive an well in true spirit.

Security

I've come to the conclusion that its vain to aspire to such an idealistic concept. What possible uses could it have when all that it given is taken in time. As we cling to this old tattered blanket, as we age it turns to a thin rag, unable to keep a grown mans warmth or size. There is no security in our bodies. The only thing I'm positive that will guarantee a long company is the welcome the warmth without and embrace the cold while it lasts so that when the time comes, we will no longer need the rag left of our old identity; perhaps it will not seem as if the blanket will have been used at all if we tempered our uses of its comfort and company.

Desire and Discontent

Of all putrid weeds - this combination infects the worst. Although surfaced and easy to flesh out its roots, its quick to spread as easily as influenza. Our immunities are practically built of the same ilk is spawns - more. Excess of everything.

Lets me explain further. Everyone has heard the term "everything in moderation" and the rebels would also add to that line " - even moderation". True enough, but I hope to bring a new light to this overlooked statement.

My perspective might not be as enlightening as a sage kept on a mountain, but perhaps it is more dirty since I'm down selling the stuff I sometimes hate. I work at Staples and Home Outfitters. Enlightening. I've been workings long enough to have a sense of comfort in my roles. I can stay up late and have a limited understanding of where I'm and where I'm going :). Comfort is said to be the devils tool. Often work becomes redundant and repetitive, and I find reasons to amuse myself the reasons why I do what I do. I can find many reasons to be discontent, from wages to workload and so on, so forth. My bent back is hurting for the sake of materialistic reasons, all of which is exploited for excusably commercial reasons. Bearing down to the answers more and more everyday, I find I will be discontent with any position I find working in. Even the things I used to enjoy have been corrupted from other insecurities, such as productivity or financial reasons. Life's joys will all be but taken away slowly as a birch loses it bark, but willingly. Yet again I grow more skin out of the necessity; clothing to my naked nature, yet I still curse its sobriety as I long for freedom without.

This is all not possible. That is - longing for death when life is yet present. The only way to escape is by pressing aside the matters at hand and going forth into the unknown of a calm and rested mind to restore knowledge once forgot, and place the priorities in sequence all over again - which once again presses us back to life. Waking up morning after morning; imagine waking up happy and rejuvenated about the open field of possibilities, the field of consciousness. A field of choices. I only know one girl who is a morning person, and I long for the day when I will see the morning light like her.

Let me clarify on desire. My note on manifestation should clean up part of it, but I feel there is so much more to understand. To be frank, I would say that all desire is unneeded. Why? Its plugging you up. I will clarify terms; what I mean by desire is a longing for something to be attained, subjective or objective. Why? Because I am one to believe that it takes time and effort to acquire it. Time draws it out as long as you keep focusing on it, for your see it apart from yourself. This draws out your patience to the longest lengths as it breeds a sense of "dis-connectiveness" or discontentment. You say now - I can wait forever, but what if it never came? Of course it will come you say, but that it not certain. Wishful thinking never did anything for you other then waiting and wanting. If that were so, you will not be "complete" without it, because why then would you be wanting it in the first place? This is what I mean by desire having no beneficial qualities other then wanting and waiting which later leads of inevitable discontentment, pain and sorrow.

Here is the alternative. If manifestation was not a matter of desire, but rather a process of observing, the puzzle would come together naturally and fluently as were fate. Think about it. You would naturally flux into the role you were born to be, not trying to be something but simply being. It would not even feel as if effort were a matter of pressure, but effortless movement as all things in creation do the same. This would not make you a piece of brainless cake or mindless zombie, but an air, ether, leaf, particle or natural being; a piece in a greater connected universe of which we all play a part in. Death and and life are one and the same, for we come to an acceptance of the waning of moon or the turning of the seasons. It is our place, our home, our peace and serenity. Our bliss in eternal consciousness.

Alive

Of all my moments, only this can be of my greatest. To have bent my knee and bowed my head beyond the rise of my broken back, prostrate in prayer and supplication to something so great that the eye cannot see its light. Its name is too many to number. Its deeds so great that it would create life with a single word. Yet still, I approach the feet of something such as this submissively suppling a willful sacrifice, the sacrifice it gave me of its own - life. Only then does life seem alive. It were not worth living if it were alone - that is why this is my best moment - to be broken and dead so he can breath live back into this flesh and bones for one for day, that he make use for them again.

Manifestations

The idea is that Manifestation is an alchemy - has to be balanced in perfect flux of all areas necessary to be given from before being asked. All things require sacrifice. But if we "visualize" something to death without being naturally willing to make the changes - it is no more then a burden of information, and thus a burden of the flesh.

If you want something - be willing to give everything needed for it, whatever that might be. I find needs to be approached desirelessly, otherwise the pressure will create something monstrous from the negative energy pushed onto the topic in need of acquiring it. It has to be in perfect flux - a dance so perfect you hadn't known you were in a trance all along.

Attention, but not pretension.

Thought of the day:

Syncronicity

Everything is perfectly on time. Certainly it is since time is only of the minds creative purposes. We are all joined by one mind which leaves no room for delay. We are living around a clock which seemingly gives up the perception that we are moving - but like the speedometer magnet on a bikes forks - we are not moving at all - but watching for those key indications of how fast we are actually moving so we can track movement through inherent judgments. Can't wait until the day when we wake up an realize no time had passed at all and we were all right back where we started - zero.

Animal

Thought of the day :

The mind is something we all inherently possess as gifts of the divine, and it connects us all on a subtle way into the deepest levels of spirit. The true reality is we all are of one mind. We all have minds - but they are all of the same mind much like a branch is of the same body of the tree or the leaves of its branches. The identity of each "leaf" is fixed on its own for it hasn't the eyes to see its roots - it can feel it.. but it cannot perceive it clearly with the sensing faculties it is "limited" to. Certainly it is not limited, but rather taught of these things measurable in its lowest measure of identity - common to separations of its like, but not others. It knows itself best as a leaf and not a branch so how does it know its source? This explains why we die as we are day by day growing further and further from the source - of early generations, some ascended before death or lived 950 years. We are dying off earlier as we become further and further from recognizing our inner light given by the creator. In this allegory of the leaf - exchange it for our human selves - divine and intelligent beings - as we percieve. We've studied our nature much longer then a leaf, neither do we understance how anything is conscious of itself. We cannot know how superior we are to them - we just assume so because we can eat herbs. Rather, I see it should be looked at as weak to think we need to eat "lesser" things. Anyway - because we are simply divisions of a much greater mind we all share, we are simply using these fleshly bodies as one would control an animals. This is not us. just because we inherited them from birth, we bound our souls to it. For that we cannot leave until it is unusable. We aren't human at all - we are mind. I hope this perspective can help break the limitations we place on ourselves. Whatever alchemy we place before us, mind will conform to its wish as a law is never bent or broken.

So ... not doing this.

How many people end up lying on their death bed asking this question - what was the sense in life? Give me reason for why I lived my life? What is the purpose of life altogether?

Isn't that something that concerns you?

It concerns me. Because dibble dobbling through this dense experience running on default doesn't necessarily bring us closer to a greatness. What is great? I know living this life, during most days - it is not great; even if your smiling, it doesn't convince me that the product your peddling is any more fruity then the shit they put in this tin can or that glass bottle. You live happy, you die happy - isn't that worth something? I say no. You know what I am? Friggin' pissed that I've been tossed around on this desert for this long all the while wondering how I'm going to end this thing with purpose. Its the long wait - the silence and the noise - neither of the polarities satisfy; even if I could fly I'd find my time spent just the same. People say "I want to do this or that before I grow old" I say, I don't wanna do anything until I figure out how it ends, and I'm this far from finding that out.

To all you paranoia patients, this is not a cry for suicide. This is a scream of frustration.

Now figure it out.

Emotion - the fulcrum of our efforts. I find it effortless to ignore such a powerful thing. How often I live my life without confronting matters with the use of such a tool. There is no mountain that cannot be moved by its presence. It can drive you where you are headed quickly - which isn't always a good thing. Without the use of emotion though, life can be slow and literally stuck. Because of our uncertainty and ill confidence, we go to great lengths to avoid its presence, for it can be ruin a life quickly, but even worse - slowly. Some of us have experienced this first hand.

The kinds of emotion esperienced is not uncontrolled as many assume. Thats insane and corrupt thinking. Its the mind that controls our thoughts, and our mind is in now way connected to our emotions. The circumstances give rise to events which we chose to navigate through - but a murderer for example cannot claim that he could not help it upon a first degree murder. Thoughts give rise to emotions. Then they turn to a feeling. A feeling is exactly that - thought and emotion. It is because of this we feel we have experienced it before because of a trigger. The thought and emotion are attached. It often leads us down a chain of events which we often repeat.

This is not without a sense of irony - we want one thing and mean another. Kind of like the freudian slip. To mean one thing and mean your mother. How often do we trace though the events without considering where the paradox is coming from. We are divided. The flesh is innately selfish and evil. Of course not we say - but I state it to be an endothermic thing. It sucks in energy to fuel itself. The spirit on the other hand, the "oneness" or highest achievement of all existence, gives its energy to the mortal in hopes to regain its efficacy in peace. This is why we are divided. The easiest solution is to serve the flesh, and we will go to great lengths to mask our intention of doing so. Our plot long and arduous till the end of our materialistic lives only to lose it all. We need to let go our lives as Christ has mentioned so we can gain it for the amalgamation of the flesh and spirits will, and gain it back again. Only then will we be free as a human race. Till then, we will pass from moment to moment, step by step in a pursuit of reaching a new limit to our decaying estates.

So what the hell am I saying by all of this? Emotion is the engine of our car. Jesus said once that with faith, one can move mountains. He also said without love, we are nothing more then noise. Emotion should be used constructively with focused intention towards the will of the spirit - not of the flesh, for of the flesh it is simply destructive. Our direction will be scattered until a firm commitment is made to one. We cannot serve two masters, and as James one of Christ's disciples wrote; this man is like a wave of the sea, tossed to and fro.

Use your emotions wisely.

Life and -----

Don't like me? Why not? Personified, I am you. I am what you have made of your true potential. There is no way out of your ways - you are bent and thwarted, cunning and inconclusive, frail and fragile. You don't even like me. You like the one you created, but I am not who you intended. The one you created was a dream - was never built to last in this world of decay. Now - we stand on the brink again and you have to decide, will you wake from the dream or continue to sleep amongst the leaves, the dry dead embers caught to burn so quickly when the next spark consumes your naked appearance. A beautiful moment in a seemingly endless reality fixed upon your survival as a cripple, a lost soul begging in the corner for his dues of unearned patronage from a crowd - whispering the guilt you bear like a bag of pennies. This was not what you intended, yet we cling to the earth so tenderly as being the life which has given birth to our first breath. Plucked from the Kingdom of splendor, our home was once amongst a field of flowers. We were unharvested and unarmed, for there was none other to fear then the hurt itself we brought manifest into flesh. Now a field of concrete stands in our place, and we know not who we are. Kindled flame, burning so bright, we consumed our nature once and one again we will be the one in the future to resist and the one to persist the coming of death, as swift and secure as life itself. We are the cure and the cancer, living and ----.

From the Inside Out

Hand in hand, cold and damp.  The wind wisps past our entwined forms in the night. Dark and lonely with only the stars above us to give us light.  Our affinity and affection needs no romance to cure its acute presence - everything feels so real now.  Even when the stars avail from the black sails of an approaching storm, I can see you clearly.  Your face is always in my mind; your touch is more healing then the elements stirring around us.  The damp mist of heavy waves hurling at the hard earth - the hurricane winds battering at my cloak, protecting us - the earth and sea shaking from a rapturous clap - the distant lights of a blue storm lit like the war had finally begun; but nothing can break this bond of peace.  There is nothing left to sing to - for the song is now inside.  

Henna - Mehndi - Temp Tattoo Booth

Soon enough when my shipment arrives of Henna, I'll be starting a henna booth downtown waterloo in hopes to earn a small wage and have some summer fun - encourage the lively spirit downtown waterloo has during the summers. I have yet to approach the authorities on licensing, but I've had a lot of given inspiration to do this, and i believe this is what I am supposed to be doing during this time. I regret having not dwelt upon the answers earlier since much of the summer has passed, but still I have much yet and I'm going to give it a go.

I hope to encourage some of youth to consider a temporary tattoo to last 2 weeks instead of their entire lives. It makes me sick to see all the tattoos on the websites of these tattoo parlors around kitchener waterloo. I gotta say, someone has to stop them - and I hope at least they might encourage the thought to make a tattoo temporary when they see my small business. I'll have an ambient station on for a bit of mood - the location is perfect, right across from the rude native restaurant, earthwinds fair trade shop and ten thousand villages with weather (stone shop) inside the mall. I couldn't think of a better place, and it'll add to the cultural and spiritual diversity as people will want emblems and symbols to show their background and beliefs. I'll have examples set out in books so I can copy whatever design they wanted placed on a limb - nowhere around vitals so its safe.

So thats a short summary of the business I will be pursuing soon. Write please if you have any suggestions!

My Sungazing Practicum!

Yesterday started for the first time my commitment to a sungazing practice. Along with that I will read a few pages of the course in miracles as use the time for prayer and meditation about what I learned. I may use a portion of the hour for remote viewing too. It will be a full hours use towards further recognition of my true spiritual self. Sounds selfish, but I have to know myself inside out before I can expect to help others see themselves and others alike so we can work together on this planet.

The hardest part about any spiritual practice or any practice itself is commitment. Shouldn't be hard, but for me and my little world - its not easy sometimes to believe all that they say, and let alone to believe in myself. Its so much easier to take it a grain a day and miss a grain every second and third day. If we really wanted to change our lives - persistence, clarity, attention, integrity and passion are vital ingredients to help you achieve that goal. I've tampered at so many things so briefly - read the first 5 pages of hundreds of books, but unless you commit yourself to the pages, to the study, you should be willing to read the book over and over again so that as your mind changes, you see things differently every time you read it. Sungazing is just one those practices I've looked over and studied briefly, and now I've made the decision to give a full practice so I can receive all the benefits I can from its ancient roots.

Welcome to me blog!

Whatever brings you here, your all welcome to sit and see what yer Wes has to say about a few things. All opinions they are, but I like to sit an ponder these things we all have in common - the thing we call life...or death. They be so alike its hard to tell them apart on some days. Life has been given too much credit, death deserves its turn to all of us. There is no topic I may not discuss, and I hope ye be interested in my babblings and take 'er time to scratch ye hair on yer chin ( or lack of it ) and grab a hot tea ( oh yes, very Irish ye say ) and sit to contemplate while ye still have the time to do so. One things worse is to keep on doing the shit that your doin' which sometimes is nothin' at all.

The query of dreams --

In the the morning light, I had an epiphany on the topic of dreams. It is a splendid thing, I always thought; to be caught in the state where you leave your body, and your mind and spirit are off where they please.

I've heard many people claim to not dream. Whether in dreamless sleep or not - I like to think that our spirit is always divided and venturing forth, showing us things on different levels. Even when I'm awake, I see my minds imagination playing out events, or while awake, sometimes I am dowsing off into a dream momentarily.

I heard it once from a respected elder that she didn't need the use of psychedelics to have "spiritual" experiences. She told me at the moment she was talking to me, her spirit was off in 3 different places. I've heard it said that there are up to 9 different astral bodies that we possess; levels of spirit. Certainly I am not a guru of any kind, but everyday I yearn to awaken my gifts as many have. Many are born with them, yet all of us are born with them, but many of the gifts long forgotten. Dream recall is one of those things I have treasured - and I use a large 3.5" red jasper being the first investment into a larger stone which has helped me recall of dreams in the night.

The problem of dreams is how overlooked they are. Scientists have discovered them to be misfires of brain activity - random scenes and events which have absolutely no value or meaning. I agree it may seem like that when studying brain activity, but they have no science to see the spirit, which cannot be measured by any physical means. We know the presence of the spirit, so why so quick to assume it folklore upon our proud career advancements of the 21st century? The brain is simply the connection - the receiver to the minds projection. Thats is how the mind uses this body as an identity to hide in since birth.

Before I get too far - the point is that dreams have influence and meaning to our lives whether we realize it or not. Whatever purpose they hold is revealed in time as we are simply living out the projection our dreams, beliefs and thoughts. None of it is without self control might I mention, but that is for another write.

I am rather unequipped to put what was revealed to me in the morning lucid state. It is not completely clear to me what was said - but it was something to this extent.

Dreams are inner dictations of the past, present and future. They can mould and construct our lives into more channeled and useful ways how we interact with them. They reveal the truth of the matter of what is on our minds, or sometimes the projected result from the matter. They reveal the unconscious mind to the receiver so he can reflect and chose consciously what choices will effect his current reality. Dreams have a way of clarifying priorities which need tending.

I wish this note could bring more clarity, but I need to work on my writing skills. Just like any skill, working with dreams is another and it takes time and intuitive understanding to have this revealed to you. Don't hesitate to lay in bed every morning to think upon your dreams before they affect you for the rest of the day.