I thought i might write this note since the inspiration is coming so desperately, but thus far been unable to express it. Since this is valentines day, it might be the better of times to have written.
Someone yesterday asked me if i was dating someone. If you are reading my blog right now, you have a long history with me, and have known my long history of little and long loves which crumbled like old cookies - the kind of ones you get in PC or no name packages. I guess the butter somehow evaporated. I'll refrain from cheesy (or buttery) comparatives.
I watched a film weeks ago with a friend named "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind". Their synopsis was something like this : people have a hard time seeing into each other, so eventually we just stop trying. We've had enough of their traumas, burdens and accusations - then fervently swear to give it all up, including the whole experience and memories. Yet of the same token, the same love which first burned so insatiably during the "pregnancy" relationship stage is so strong we write songs and stories about going to great depths and heights to save the other person from harm.
I am just mulling over the fact love can turn so sour. Like a brew unkept, it kills like poison to drink. How is it possible since love is such a pure thing?
Here is my answer to the whole thing is short. Second Corinthians 13 something : Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." From this definition, which is one of the purest i can find, defines qualities which resonate with love. Love is something you know - cannot be told you are, you just know.
Love is diluted through the stages of relationships by the dramas we perform between the ego/spirit confusion. Ex: if someone calls you fat. Any accusation, emotionally or spiritually related, if taken offense to, is not the appropriate reaction since it should be taken with reflection rather then reaction. One offense leads to another, and nobody after a while knows how the war began or what they created. Its just what it is - breeding hate.
I've struggled lately with the idea of leaving someone who would go to tall lengths to commit you to a crime you did not commit, but perhaps they did. So the burden is laid upon your shoulders until it is borne away. Even so, having loved them despite the dust flung in your eyes, and the mess left behind. Even following them to the lengths you would before, even though you know it could very well kill you. The slap on the second cheek thing, but how many times do we do this? Twice is enough sometimes. Forgiving them 77 times 7 times?? Eternally, because its nothing to do with the identity in first place. Love is always there. It can be surpressed, ignored and put away but never lost because its a quality of the spirit, and the spirit is forever pure. Its the reflection of itself which we see. Love is just that.
Btw -- the answer to whether i was dating someone was a serious no with a laugh added to the words "thats the last thing i need right now."
