Sometimes i sit and wondering what is the value of such dwindling in moments like these. I find a place of peace and quite, and soon discover there is a longing to participate again, although in a completely new way. Repetition of what I hate is something i cannot stand. As much as i have, this is what has given rise to much stress in my life. If one had the confidence and answers to fill the gaps, life would be much easier. The one who has the power to control his life is the one who holds the baton it seems in our world. This is why politics is such a hit - I say this humorously. Nothing against politics, but politics done without a desire of power is something we have not known.
To explain this wave in a analogy, lets say that at my copy job at staples, i refused an order for a moral reason. Maybe the customer was being a douche and i decided to discipline his efforts to control me. Then instead of leaving him a reason to blow up, you have to replace the need with an equal valued substitute. I could give him a copy card and tell him to figure it out on the self serve copiers. Not to be an ass, but its a choice of discipline since he feels he doesn't need me enough to consider me human, with emotions and value.
The choice to say no is the value so the equation can be balanced (takes 2 to tango). Balance the equation and be a part of the equation. By letting another use you, there is a problem. Just like when in this moment of peace and quiet, i passed a reason to participate in actively giving to a greater whole, but the question is how. The answer is somewhere out there, and throwing out a temporary substitute like browsing the web just won't do sometimes. Find that calling, and the cause to participate will come again.
